Being Alternate International Reference Person as Me
Hello! Kamusta! Osiyo! Wĩmwega! ¡Hola! Aloha! Habari! Bonjour! Hafa Adai!
I am pleased to meet you, extend my hand and smile, and offer you a warm hug (or an elbow or a foot, as we have done in COVID). I would love to know how you would like to be greeted—from where you are, your people.
My name is Teresa. At this last World Conference, in August 2022, I was confirmed as the Alternate International Reference Person for the Re-evaluation Counseling Communities. Some of you I have met before. Many more of you I have not yet met. I look forward to someday meeting each of you—on Zoom or in person.
It was suggested that I introduce myself to you. There are many things that generally do not occur to me to do, given my internalized oppression and my particular distresses. Making myself known and visible to groups of people is one of those things. But I can follow leadership and direction. With this next step in my growth, I can already tell [notice] that many things will be asked of me that will contradict all the patterns I carry. That is uncomfortable but a good thing. So hello, here I am.
I am a female who was raised poor and working class. I am Filipina, Cherokee, Osage, Irish, Scottish, Welsh, and Catholic. I was one of the younger siblings in a large family. I come from people who have been targeted by sexism, classism, colonization, racism, attempted genocide, war, and many other heavy oppressions.
However, I have held on to and learned a lot of things about connection and closeness. People and relationships matter. Every human matters. I’ve learned to think about individuals and groups of people, about making things go well for all, and about how to be part of a team. I know how to work hard, and I also love playing hard and having fun. There is always a reason to laugh—and to dance, sing, and be alive. Being physical and applying my creative mind are parts of who I am. I love people. And I believe in who we are.
The oppressions I faced set me up [predisposed me] to think that I was insignificant and powerless, that I should be invisible but do a lot of work. I internalized the messages that I was not smart enough to lead, or to do much of anything except serve others.
But I still dared to dream. I had glimpses that the world could be different—that there was something to fight for (liberation) and that we could transform all the systemic oppression in our societies. It was good to be with people and to try.
When I found Co-Counseling, I loved it. The brilliance of our minds, combined with our natural healing process and the closeness and connections we build, can change things—from deep inside of us out to the farthest reaches of the universe. That is our inherent power. (See “Who’s in Charge,” by Harvey Jackins, in The Human Situation; and the “The Necessity of Long Range Goals,” also by Harvey Jackins in The Human Situation and reprinted on pages 25 to 29 of Present Time No. 209.)
There is a way to be with people and to be completely for every other human and every other being on the planet. I can love deeply and care big. And maybe, just maybe, I don’t have to hold myself back from being me.
I have tried to do all of this. I think I have been preparing for my new job for my whole life—despite my oppressions, other hurts, and old feelings.
I think it is key that, as much as I could, I have not let my patterns and feelings be my guide. Instead I have committed to getting my mind and myself back completely. And I will back [support] you in doing the same thing—no matter how much I have to feel and discharge.
I couldn’t be more pleased at this moment—to be in this project, as myself, and to be doing it with you, at a time like this. What a great, challenging time to be alive. We have the climate emergency and racism, sexism, and all the oppressions to take on [confront and do something about] together. Bring on the fear, excitement, and more. I am looking forward to doing this with you. Be in touch!
I am reminded of a quote by Harvey Jackins that for a long time was made into a scroll:
If I could have
But one wish granted,
It would be . . .
To live in a universe
Like this one,
At a time
Like the present,
With friends
Like the ones I have now,
And be myself.
Shoreline, Washington, USA
(Present Time 209, October 2022)