Women Thinking About, and Offering Leadership to, Men

At the Women's Liberation Workshop (January 1997) I convened a topic group, 'Women Leading Men's Liberation.' Here is some of what was said by the twelve women who participated.

WHAT DOES LEADING MEN'S LIBERATION LOOK LIKE TO YOU?

  • Making a decision to consciously connect with men from the point of view of benign reality.
  • Making friends with men. Bringing men into RC.
  • Not blaming men. Taking responsibility for our distress and letting them take responsibility for theirs.
  • Standing up for men without caretaking.
  • Recognizing men have deep oppression: caring about them; reaching out; not giving up.
  • Being honest with men about our needs and feelings. Recognizing they need women to tell them the truth. Having courage to tell them our truth.
  • Recognizing how much difficulty men have in trusting.
  • Understanding that we can get further faster if we work together. Men who have been hurt into being overly independent may have a hard time joining communities, even though it's what they crave. Women have information about and experience in this that men can learn from.
  • Women initiating more.
  • Not seeing working-class men as fair game. Making a commitment not to 'male bash' or tell 'redneck' jokes.
  • Recognizing what it's like for individuals who have been socialized to stay out of touch with emotions, e.g., trained from birth to be ready to go to war.
  • Understandin g that part of men's oppression is to not admit there's anything wrong. To go to counselling is to admit defeat. The message is, 'You're not a man if you can't handle things on your own.'
  • Reading Men.
  • Recognizing that some men think about sex all the time. Not game playing-we need to do our own work around sex. Displaying relaxed delight at whatever comes up in a counselling session.
  • Recognizing we are all liberated hand in hand: women's liberation equals men's liberation and vice versa.
  • Realizing that the closer we get to women, the closer we can get to men.
  • Discharging on the reality that all men are good, not just a few.
  • Supporting men in getting closer to one another and their fathers and sons.
  • No liberation with hierarchy; challenging hierarchy.

WHAT DO YOU LOVE ABOUT MEN?

  • Sex with them.
  • Their power and strength; protectiveness.
  • Companionship.
  • That they've come a long way.
  • That they're great allies and challengers.
  • That they're sentimental and romantic; vulnerable.
  • Their directness.
  • That they have no limits; freedom.
  • The way they smell.
  • How much fathers love their children.
  • Their sense of humour.
  • Their spontaneity.

Donna MacDermot
Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
reprinted from the newsletter for the RC Community in
East Vancouver, British Columbia

Last modified: 2022-12-25 10:17:04+00